Book Review : How to Talk so Kids can Learn at Home and in School

Book : How to Talk so Kids can Learn At Home and in School

Author : Adele Faber  & Elaine Mazlish

Length : 272 pages

Published by : Rawson Associates , New York

Year of Publication : 1995

ISBN : 0-684-81333-5

“The Sad Truth is that in today’s world , kids are being subjected to unprecedented stress and neglect. If we’re to have any hope of helping them master their academic skill, we have to help them unpack some of the emotional baggage they carry into our classrooms.That means our role as teacher has to change to include many elements of parenting.”

The above words of wisdom derived  from the book “How to Talk so Kids can Learn At Home and in School”  of Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish who are the authors of this wonderful book. The book is based on communication skills that build better relationship between teacher and children and between parent and children as well.

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish have produced number of books and conducted a lot of group workshops for parents and teachers to improve relationship with children . The first book , ‘Liberated Parents/ Liberated Children’, was selected by the Book of Month Club and received CHRISTOPHER AWARD for “ Literary achievement affirming the highest value of the human spirit’. Their subsequent books, ‘How to Talk so Kids will Listen & Listen so Kids will Talk” and ‘Siblings without  Rivalry’ have sold over three million copies and have been translated over thirty languages, and then it comes ‘How to Talk so Kids can Learn At Home and in School’ cited by child Magazine As “the Best Book of the Year of Excellence in family issues in Education”.

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish were graduated from New York University in theater and drama, Faber also done her masters degree in education. They’ve came up with books, audio tapes, CD’s , videos and a website i.e www.fabermazlish.com where they invite us to explore and get advantage of their long research on child psychology. Both of them has won the gratitude of parents and enthusiastic praise of the professional community.

Many people contributed in this book including parents, teachers , mental health professionals. Joanna Faber illustrates moving examples from her ten years of teaching experience , Their illustrator Kimberly Ann Coe, Bob Markel, Dr. Thomas Gordon and mainly late Dr. Haim Ginott who was the child psychologist and the main inspiration of the writers.

The book is well written in a way that one will never get bored and enjoy every situation, dialogue and phrase till end. They have dramatized a school environment where the teachers discussed about the problems and issues they faced with their students and try to solve their matters by giving their own ideas in a group. Authors creates one character named Liz Lander, who is a young teacher and struggling to relate to her students in more helpful way.

One of the Key Feature of this book is showing examples in cartoon forms. These Pictorial representation of class rooms situations, children feelings , teachers’ temperament grabs the attention of the reader and tremendously helps to understand what actually happens with us. They actually put the feelings into pictures.

Eight chapters of this book briefly explains How children feels in different situations and what should we do to build a close relationship, strong and open communication with them as a teachers and as a parent. Every chapter ends up with the Quick Reminder and real life Questions and Stories from Parents and from Teachers that really helps reader to find their own answers.

Both writers’ observation of their surroundings, about child’s emotions and expressions and adults’ reactions are very sound.

A lot of things we normally say to kids either make them feel Bad about themselves or Bad about us. Effective communication helps us better understand a kid or situation and enables us to resolve issues, build trust and respect, and create environments where creative ideas , problem solving , affection , and caring can flourish. Along with our words of respect , we need an attitude of respect too. By acknowledging children’s unhappy feeling or their stress we can help them to let go of them and this is what the whole book is all about.

You cant teach children to behave better by making them feel worse,when children feel better they behave better.

(Pam Leo)

I really enjoy reading this book. It help me a lot to realize my behaviour and to understand the feelings of my children. From the  given examples of the book I figure out the situations that bothers me and I implement those expressions and dialogues with my kids , such as, when I was reading this book, and they were playing just near by me, making so much noise, that was disturbing me, instead of scolding them harshly or say something in a loud tone , I just follow Faber and Mazlish ‘s instructions. I said “ mama can’t concentrate on reading, your loud voices disturbs  me  a lot, Can you please play silently ?” and Yes, by realizing the problem that I was facing, they start playing calmly and tried to keep Silent . In my opinion this book is really helpful in making good communication with each other and especially with children.

I would like to recommend this book for all those passionate Parents and Teachers who are blessed with the honor of being responsible for kids as their children or as their students.